First of all, let me apologize because it has been such a long time since I have posted any updates about my trip on my blog. It isn’t that I haven’t thought about you, but internet is not easily accessed here in Uganda and when I do have internet I usually spend time emailing my family and posting things on facebook. Please forgive me!
As of about a week ago, I have completed the second month of my internship. It is still so surreal to me that I have been in this country for that long. Time has gone by so quickly and these last few weeks are going to go by even faster.
This month I was able to venture to Northeastern Uganda (near Masindi) and go on a safari with a few of the other interns. We went to Murchison National Park and stayed inside the park at a nice campground for two nights and three days. It was a good break away from ministry and time to just “enjoy” Africa. The safari itself was a lot of fun. We saw monkeys, giraffes, elephants, African buffalo, and other various deer/antelope type animals. It was actually a lot harder than I thought it would be to find the animals on the safari; we had to drive quite a bit to spot the animals inside the park. As much as I enjoyed the safari it was really hard for me to be away from the village and all of the people here for three days. I found myself thinking about my kids, the families I would normally be visiting and the staff back at the compound. Being away during the safari made me realize how valuable the people here are and how their friendships have changed me. (It was a short, small glimpse at how my heart is going to feel in about a month when I get back to America.)
There is a family who lives very close to the Show Mercy compound who I have gotten very close to; I consider them my family now. I visit them almost daily and just spend quality time with them. I read books with the kids, I help the oldest cut up cassava for dinner, I laugh and joke with them and study the world map with Chris and Henry. This family, the kids especially, have stolen my heart. They include me in things, they say “hi” to me when they see me out in the village and they have even given me an African name (Nakalema). Getting to know this family has made me realize that it’s not always about going into the village with a mission to fetch water or share scripture; it’s simply about just going out to village and showing love. This family has shown me just how far love can go, they have shown me that a small act of kindness - like saying hello - can change a life, can change my life.
Even with all of the good and miraculous things I have shared with you all, I feel it is equally important to share my challenges and struggles with you. As I walk into this third month, I am –for the first time– truly missing my “things” back in America. The first two months were awesome and this adventure was still new to me but now that Uganda has become reality I am noticing that there are a lot of things from my American life that I miss. The most obvious ones are my friends and family, but besides that I’m becoming aware of how materialistic I am. Wearing the same 5 t-shirts and 3 hoodies for the last two and half months has been quite interesting, and I am finally hitting the point where I’m like, “I just want my clothes back. I want to be able to wear something different, something that isn’t stained red from the dirt, something that doesn’t smell “funny” from being hand-washed and dried outside on the line.” I want to sleep in a bed that I don’t have to climb into and that isn’t half the size of my bed at home. Not that the food here is bad, because it’s not, they feed us very well here; but I just want an American meal, a normal American meal prepared with normal American spices. I am just in a phase of missing and wanting the “things” I have back in America.
I thought to myself last night, “I could just go for some comfy pants, a good movie and a nice night on the couch.” Then I had a revelation, the Lord doesn’t want me to be “comfy.” He doesn’t want any of His followers to be “comfy.” Think about Jesus; do you think his life was at all comfortable? One of his very best friends – Judas – betrayed him. He fasted for 40 days. He was mocked and called crazy. He was innocent and hung to die on a tree. I highly doubt his life was comfortable. If we are passionate followers of the Lord we are not called to a comfortable life. We are called to almost everything but a comfortable life. It was such a bitter sweet moment as I was going for a walk last night when I re-realized that. I am not called to a safe, comfortable, convenient couch for the rest of my life. I’m called to walk out upon the waters. I am called to lay down my life for Him and His kingdom. I, Victoria Kuhlman, am called to discomfort.
Being here in Uganda is hard, in more ways than one, but I know that this is exactly where the Lord wants me. He wants me here because I am pursuing Jesus more than I ever have. He wants me here because He is awakening my heart to beat for Him and Him alone. He wants me here because I am building relationships with people who I now call family. He wants me here because I can show His love to a broken people who often times doesn’t think they deserve it. He wants me here because He wants me here, and that is all the confirmation I need. This is HIS journey not mine and with whole-hearted abandon He is going to show me that the things of His kingdom greater than my “things” in America.
Because He wants me here,
Nakalema
Philippians 1:6
As of about a week ago, I have completed the second month of my internship. It is still so surreal to me that I have been in this country for that long. Time has gone by so quickly and these last few weeks are going to go by even faster.
This month I was able to venture to Northeastern Uganda (near Masindi) and go on a safari with a few of the other interns. We went to Murchison National Park and stayed inside the park at a nice campground for two nights and three days. It was a good break away from ministry and time to just “enjoy” Africa. The safari itself was a lot of fun. We saw monkeys, giraffes, elephants, African buffalo, and other various deer/antelope type animals. It was actually a lot harder than I thought it would be to find the animals on the safari; we had to drive quite a bit to spot the animals inside the park. As much as I enjoyed the safari it was really hard for me to be away from the village and all of the people here for three days. I found myself thinking about my kids, the families I would normally be visiting and the staff back at the compound. Being away during the safari made me realize how valuable the people here are and how their friendships have changed me. (It was a short, small glimpse at how my heart is going to feel in about a month when I get back to America.)
There is a family who lives very close to the Show Mercy compound who I have gotten very close to; I consider them my family now. I visit them almost daily and just spend quality time with them. I read books with the kids, I help the oldest cut up cassava for dinner, I laugh and joke with them and study the world map with Chris and Henry. This family, the kids especially, have stolen my heart. They include me in things, they say “hi” to me when they see me out in the village and they have even given me an African name (Nakalema). Getting to know this family has made me realize that it’s not always about going into the village with a mission to fetch water or share scripture; it’s simply about just going out to village and showing love. This family has shown me just how far love can go, they have shown me that a small act of kindness - like saying hello - can change a life, can change my life.
Even with all of the good and miraculous things I have shared with you all, I feel it is equally important to share my challenges and struggles with you. As I walk into this third month, I am –for the first time– truly missing my “things” back in America. The first two months were awesome and this adventure was still new to me but now that Uganda has become reality I am noticing that there are a lot of things from my American life that I miss. The most obvious ones are my friends and family, but besides that I’m becoming aware of how materialistic I am. Wearing the same 5 t-shirts and 3 hoodies for the last two and half months has been quite interesting, and I am finally hitting the point where I’m like, “I just want my clothes back. I want to be able to wear something different, something that isn’t stained red from the dirt, something that doesn’t smell “funny” from being hand-washed and dried outside on the line.” I want to sleep in a bed that I don’t have to climb into and that isn’t half the size of my bed at home. Not that the food here is bad, because it’s not, they feed us very well here; but I just want an American meal, a normal American meal prepared with normal American spices. I am just in a phase of missing and wanting the “things” I have back in America.
I thought to myself last night, “I could just go for some comfy pants, a good movie and a nice night on the couch.” Then I had a revelation, the Lord doesn’t want me to be “comfy.” He doesn’t want any of His followers to be “comfy.” Think about Jesus; do you think his life was at all comfortable? One of his very best friends – Judas – betrayed him. He fasted for 40 days. He was mocked and called crazy. He was innocent and hung to die on a tree. I highly doubt his life was comfortable. If we are passionate followers of the Lord we are not called to a comfortable life. We are called to almost everything but a comfortable life. It was such a bitter sweet moment as I was going for a walk last night when I re-realized that. I am not called to a safe, comfortable, convenient couch for the rest of my life. I’m called to walk out upon the waters. I am called to lay down my life for Him and His kingdom. I, Victoria Kuhlman, am called to discomfort.
Being here in Uganda is hard, in more ways than one, but I know that this is exactly where the Lord wants me. He wants me here because I am pursuing Jesus more than I ever have. He wants me here because He is awakening my heart to beat for Him and Him alone. He wants me here because I am building relationships with people who I now call family. He wants me here because I can show His love to a broken people who often times doesn’t think they deserve it. He wants me here because He wants me here, and that is all the confirmation I need. This is HIS journey not mine and with whole-hearted abandon He is going to show me that the things of His kingdom greater than my “things” in America.
Because He wants me here,
Nakalema
Philippians 1:6